I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
