i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
