Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
