i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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