Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
