Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
