look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The ass gains better be worth it
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize