He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
