Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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