well you can't waste a boner
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
