Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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