Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
