I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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