We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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