I cockslap morals
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
