i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
