i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
