end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
