Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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