What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
