Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
