I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
