I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
