at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
