I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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