Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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