He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
