scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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