bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
