what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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