and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
