Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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