No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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