I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
