Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
