You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
