I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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