so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
