yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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