I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
