he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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