i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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