just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
