I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
