just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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