it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
