So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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