pop tarts are not kleenex
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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