If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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