it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
