I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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