That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
