Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
